A Broken and Contrite Heart He Will Not Despise
Jesus and Jiu-Jitsu // Devotional #66
There aren’t many New Testament writers who got to self-narrate their first encounter with Jesus, but Matthew does. Before meeting Jesus, Matthew, also called Levi, was a tax collector. He voluntarily took a position in the Roman government to take from his people the very funds Rome needed to continue its occupation of Israel. Not only that, but it was an open secret that tax collectors made their money by inflating the tax bills of their own kindred, keeping for themselves whatever they chose to add on top.
So there’s Matthew, a wealthy tax collector who probably had more in common with a mob boss than with an IRS agent, spending his ill-gotten gains on the finest company money could buy and letting the wine flow freely. Though he was likely hated by his family and the friends he grew up with, as long as he had his tax booth, his money could dull the festering wound his sin produced. And yet, for all his wealth and deceit, when Jesus passed by, something in Matthew turned.
Read what Matthew records about this interaction in Matthew 9:9-13:
9 As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, “Follow me.” And he rose and followed him. 10 And as Jesus reclined at table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Jesus and his disciples. 11 And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” 12 But when he heard it, he said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. 13 Go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” (ESV)
Jesus has a habit of calling those the world has written off. When He sees Matthew at his tax booth, Jesus recognizes in him something no one else expected: a heart ready to repent. With two simple words, “follow me,” Jesus invites Matthew to leave behind his former way of life and turn to follow Him. He invites Matthew to repent.
Matthew had undoubtedly heard about Jesus, as stories of Jesus’ miracles and teachings weren’t kept under wraps, but now here was Jesus, standing before him, asking him to follow Him. Matthew considers for a moment all the things in his life, including his wealth, his pain, his shame, his regret, and what he stands to lose, and then he considers Jesus.
As far as we know, Jesus’ invitation didn’t include any details, like a job description, salary, benefits, or what his day-to-day would be like. Instead, the invitation was simple: follow me. Said another way, “Stop following yourself and turn to follow me.”
What follows is nothing short of a miracle: Matthew rises from his booth, leaves it behind, and follows Jesus, who leads him home to celebrate over dinner. Then, in the midst of those who likely benefited from Matthew’s money and power, there’s Jesus and the rest of the disciples, spending time with those the world deemed unworthy.
I doubt it was a quiet affair, because word quickly reaches the Pharisees, who come to see what’s happened. Upon their arrival, they ask the disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” (V11). In the first century, eating together was not a casual matter; it signified status and a deep social connection. By Jesus eating with this tax collector and these sinners, the Pharisees take it to mean that Jesus is somehow approving of, or at the very least, associating with those with whom He ate.
And yet, Jesus’ response both confounds their expectations and exposes their pride. He responds to their indignation with this statement, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” (V12-13)
Although Matthew was caught up in sin, shame, and guilt, he didn’t pretend as if he had it all together. He knew his soul was sick. He knew he needed healing. And this is why Jesus draws near to him. Just as the Psalmist records in Psalm 34:18 that God draws near to the brokenhearted, Jesus draws near to Matthew, and Matthew finds in Christ the healing his soul needs.
To the proud, self-righteous heart, repentance looks like the greatest injustice. “You’re going to let them off the hook?! Look what they’ve done!” This is the heart behind the Pharisees’ pride-drenched question in verse 11. They can’t believe Jesus would offer repentance to someone like Matthew, a sinner.
Yet in Luke 18:10-14, Jesus tells a parable that mirrors this exact exchange between Pharisees and tax collector, between the proud and the humble:
10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
The distinction Jesus outlines couldn't be more obvious. The Pharisee, satisfied with his own righteousness, thanks God that he isn’t like other wicked men, including the sinner next to him, touting his spiritual accomplishments for the week, not only to God but also to all others within earshot.
But then Jesus describes the tax collector, standing far off, eyes cast down, not playing to an audience but humbled by repentance, crying out for mercy because he understands not only the weight of his sin but also what the weight of God’s glory demands of his sin.
In Matthew 9, when Jesus tells the Pharisee to go and learn what it means that God desires mercy and not sacrifice, this is what He means. God doesn’t desire hearts convinced of their own goodness or caught up in their own righteousness, but a broken and contrite heart He will not despise. (Ps. 51:17) The tax collector goes home justified the same way Matthew goes home justified, not because of his pretentious posturing but because of his earnest desire for mercy.
Jesus’ invitation to us is the same one He gave to Matthew and, if the Pharisees had ears to hear, the same one He gave to them: Repent and follow me. I think we often hear Jesus’ response to the Pharisees as an abrasive rebuke, as if He cares less for them than for the sinner. But His response to them is laced with grace and a yearning that they, too, might experience the healing they need if only they could see how sick their hearts truly were.
Maybe today you find yourself closer to Matthew than to the Pharisees, and you are all too aware of your need for mercy and repentance. Maybe the weight of your sin feels crushing under the gravity of God’s glory, and Jesus’ invitation to repent is one you are ready to humbly and freely receive. I hope that’s true for you.
But maybe instead, your heart has turned inward because of pride. Maybe Jesus’ offer of grace doesn’t smell like new life, but smells like death, because you know it would cost you the life your pride is so quick to defend. And yet Jesus’ invitation is still for you, because He came for the sick. He came for all who would repent and find life in Him. The offer stands today, and Jesus stands ready to receive you.
“God, be merciful to me, a sinner.”
Take time to consider these questions:
Take a moment to consider why Matthew so quickly responds to Jesus with obedience and repentance. What draws Matthew to Christ? What does he know he needs?
Now consider the Pharisees’ pride in contrast to the tax collector’s repentance. What keeps the Pharisees from Christ? What do they believe they already possess?
Between the Pharisee and the tax collector, where does your heart stand before God? Is your pride keeping you from repentance? Or has the reality of your sin opened you to receive from Jesus the mercy and healing you need?
As you end your time, pray this simple prayer, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.” Ask the Father, knowing that His heart is for you and that He desires mercy, not sacrifice. Pray that God would lead you to repentance by His kindness and that your heart might draw near to Him, seeking the grace found only in Him.
